Wedding Announcements Made Unique The actual, lame announcements have been replaced with far more interesting descriptions. Excerpt: (Lower left corner) Groom Celebrates; Bride Choked Up - Lieutenant Anthony “Mad Dog” Haskins enjoys the festivities on the occasion of his wedding to Miss Brenda Haynes. Lt Haskins, a noted serial killer and holder of the Tri-state record for most murders committed within the borders of Indiana, Illinois, and Wisconsin during a consecutive 7-day period (excluding major holidays), admits that this was not a case of love at first sight. “In fact, when I first met Brenda, I hated her. I thought she was one of those uppity bitches, but I fell in love when I saw how she had changed when I visited her in the ICU,” referring to Ms Haskins’ hospitalization following his botched attempt to strangle her. “No,” he explains, “she hasn’t come out of the coma yet, but we decided that it would be silly to delay the marriage while we wait for her to recover.” Miss Haynes had little to say but was radiant and, according to family, “looked just like herself.”
